You've heard of these names. Names that parents give their children that are so ludicrous, you not only feel sorry for the child, but also for the parent for being so stupid. I will use what I like to call the "And your kids' names are..." test (patent pending) to measure how much of a moron a person is. Here's an example:
KIDS NAME : WHAT IT SAY ABOUT YOU AS A PARENT
Matt: You're a genius. (obviously)
Sarah: Normal.
Ashley: Normal.
Josh: Normal
Timothy: Normal.
Ashton: Borderline. You're probably 25% moron.
Ainsley: Borderline again. Spelling could affect this one. For instance, if the spelling were changed to "Ainslee," you would be at least 50% moron.
Britley: I guess this is a combo between Brittany and Ashley. This leads me to believe that combining 2 100% normal names equilibrates into 1 100% absurd name.
Most names ending in -aden or a derivative thereof: These seem to be fad names right now. Aiden, Braden, Caden, Jayden, Braylin... The list goes on and on. What this tells me about the parents want to be different, just like everyone else.
Proving your stupidness as a parent to me is not limited to the name chosen for a child, but could also involve the amount of names (people with more than three names (first, middle, last)) or spelling (to which I have already eluded). I think the spelling of a name is very important;however, some parent really screw up this one. It is possible to take a seemingly normal name and totally annihilate it. Examples:
Good names : Not as Good Name
Emily : Emmalee
Ashley: Ashleigh
LaDasha: La-a
C.J.: Ceejay
Landon : Landynn
Cassidy: Kassidee
Melissa: Milyssa
I think parents are setting their kids up for a lifetime of "no, it's -lynn/-eigh/etc"
Celebrities have their own unique way of being idiots. First of all, I don't know where actors and musicians got the idea that their opinion matters more than anyone else's, but that may be a topic for another post. I can only conclude that these people, although I would pay to see in a movie or to hear them perform, would never associate with them in the real world. Here are some of the best that, when I heard them, there were/are no words I can describe the degree of sorrow I felt for one person/couple being so dumb. May God have mercy on their souls.
Tu Morrow
Apple
Jermajesty
Pilot Inspektor
Moxie Crimefighter
Moon Unit
Diva Thin Muffin
Audio Science
So parents... step up to the plate and use a name you like, but don't overdo it. I get it. You want your child's name to be different, or unyque (unique), but don't be a idiot.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Nurse Practitioners
Nurse Practitioners. Wow. Who are these people? Allow me to enlighten you...
As I go to a college of health sciences, I feel like I know more than the average Joe about the different careers. That being said, NPs really annoy me. For those of you who don't know, this is a NP as stated by the Mayo Clinic:
NPs are registered nurses (RNs) who are prepared, through advanced education and clinical training, to provide preventive and acute health-care services to individuals of all ages. Today, most NPs complete graduate-level education that leads to a master’s degree. They work independently and collaboratively on the health-care team.
So, most nurses go to school 4 years to become a nurse, then go another 2 years to become a NP. That's it. These people are prescribing and diagnosing up a storm with, in my humble opinion, minimal clinical experience. I'm not sure how competitive it is to become a NP, and that scares me a little as well. A cousin of mine has a bachelor's degree in nursing and a master's in nursing administration. She told me she didn't become a NP for the simple reason there's too much liability and not enough experience.
Now if I ever have to see a NP, I hope I get the nurse that got her 4 year degree in nursing, worked critical care for a couple of years, and then went to NP school. I hope I don't get one who traveled a different path to get there. What path you ask? I'm glad you did. Let's look at scenario #2.
There are some programs, Vanderbilt, for example, who will do a 2 year accelerated nursing degree then another 2 years to get your master's (the only requirement other than grades and a decent GRE score is that you have a degree in something). What this means is that I could have went to college, picked up a degree in Leisure Management (yes, it exists) and in 4 years be telling you, "you have a virus, so here, take some antibiotics."
What scares me more than scenario #2? Scenario #3. There are actually ONLINE NP programs. I'm not even going into this. If this doesn't scare the heck out of you, you're an idiot.
Another thing that pisses me of, when I think about it, is the DNP (Doctor of Nursing Practice) degree. I actually saw a clinic once where this was the sole acute care provider. I guess his patients call him doctor, and if I had to guess, he wouldn't have it any other way.
A friend of mine was forced to go to student health at school and was fortunate enough to see the NP on staff. He had a couple of bumps come up on his face after falling asleep in the woods while hunting (idiot) and wanted to know what they were. While the NP is examining him, she opens her laptop, pulls up Wikipedia, and begins to look for a diagnosis. Are you f*****g kidding me? She told him he had Shingles. She was wrong.
My apologies for the length of my rant, but I will close with these statements...
1) If I can help it, I will never see a Nurse Practitioner.
2) I will ALWAYS make fun of someone who has DNP degree and who is a primary care provider.
3) It pisses me off more that so many people going into nursing go into it expecting to become a nurse practitioner OR certified nurse anesthetist. (yeah, you barely passed general chemistry, changed from pre-med to nursing, and now you're going to put me under general anesthesia. I think not.)
Stay classy, Memphis.
As I go to a college of health sciences, I feel like I know more than the average Joe about the different careers. That being said, NPs really annoy me. For those of you who don't know, this is a NP as stated by the Mayo Clinic:
NPs are registered nurses (RNs) who are prepared, through advanced education and clinical training, to provide preventive and acute health-care services to individuals of all ages. Today, most NPs complete graduate-level education that leads to a master’s degree. They work independently and collaboratively on the health-care team.
So, most nurses go to school 4 years to become a nurse, then go another 2 years to become a NP. That's it. These people are prescribing and diagnosing up a storm with, in my humble opinion, minimal clinical experience. I'm not sure how competitive it is to become a NP, and that scares me a little as well. A cousin of mine has a bachelor's degree in nursing and a master's in nursing administration. She told me she didn't become a NP for the simple reason there's too much liability and not enough experience.
Now if I ever have to see a NP, I hope I get the nurse that got her 4 year degree in nursing, worked critical care for a couple of years, and then went to NP school. I hope I don't get one who traveled a different path to get there. What path you ask? I'm glad you did. Let's look at scenario #2.
There are some programs, Vanderbilt, for example, who will do a 2 year accelerated nursing degree then another 2 years to get your master's (the only requirement other than grades and a decent GRE score is that you have a degree in something). What this means is that I could have went to college, picked up a degree in Leisure Management (yes, it exists) and in 4 years be telling you, "you have a virus, so here, take some antibiotics."
What scares me more than scenario #2? Scenario #3. There are actually ONLINE NP programs. I'm not even going into this. If this doesn't scare the heck out of you, you're an idiot.
Another thing that pisses me of, when I think about it, is the DNP (Doctor of Nursing Practice) degree. I actually saw a clinic once where this was the sole acute care provider. I guess his patients call him doctor, and if I had to guess, he wouldn't have it any other way.
A friend of mine was forced to go to student health at school and was fortunate enough to see the NP on staff. He had a couple of bumps come up on his face after falling asleep in the woods while hunting (idiot) and wanted to know what they were. While the NP is examining him, she opens her laptop, pulls up Wikipedia, and begins to look for a diagnosis. Are you f*****g kidding me? She told him he had Shingles. She was wrong.
My apologies for the length of my rant, but I will close with these statements...
1) If I can help it, I will never see a Nurse Practitioner.
2) I will ALWAYS make fun of someone who has DNP degree and who is a primary care provider.
3) It pisses me off more that so many people going into nursing go into it expecting to become a nurse practitioner OR certified nurse anesthetist. (yeah, you barely passed general chemistry, changed from pre-med to nursing, and now you're going to put me under general anesthesia. I think not.)
Stay classy, Memphis.
MWAC's (Mom's with a camera)
I cannot take credit for such an acronym. My wedding photographer, Kevin Barre, came up with this little jewel as I was mentioning to him during one of our meetings about all of the people on Facebook starting photography websites. Kevin, an extremely talented photographer, is very offended by this, as am I.
I can't really describe how it makes me feel... annoyed (may-be?) when I see some half-ass attempt at editing by someone who looks like they took a picture with a Nikon Coolpix in their backyard. "Oh. Here's a picture of a seashell on the beach this past summer... see how I made it black and white... that's classy. And by the way, I'm starting to do toddler shots, senior pictures, and weddings." I understand people have to start somewhere, but really... If it is that easy, I think I could be a photographer. I have a camera that I purchased for $100 and I have the keen ability to hit the "Enhance" button at the bottom of my photo editing software. Click and done.
Now I will say there are some people I have seen that do a pretty good job. There's a guy in my class whose wife does this. Her pictures look good and she seems to spend a lot of time on editing, unlike others I have seen. I also have a relative whose starting to get into photography as a hobby. She has the nice digital SLR camera and is taking a photography class, so I can't get mad at this one either. Her pictures look really good, much better than something I could do.
I guess it makes me mad when I think of how these people come to their new found "profession." I can only imagine it goes something like this...
"Well, I'm a stay-at-home mom, but I need something to do to take up time, and possibly make some extra scratch. What can I do? I got it! I can buy a camera..."
*Goes to store to buy digital SLR camera and photo editing software."
$800 later, "Ok, I am capable of pushing a button and putting these images on a computer. Now, I will make a website advertising my services. I know other (and when they say other, they mean REAL) photographers will charge a lot of $$$ to have pictures made, but I will do it for substantially less." All of the pictures will be put on a computer, all pictures will be edited and adjusted the same way, and you will pay for a service that you could probably have done yourself.
I'll end with this, I believe a photographer should have vision, not just a fancy camera and free time.
I can't really describe how it makes me feel... annoyed (may-be?) when I see some half-ass attempt at editing by someone who looks like they took a picture with a Nikon Coolpix in their backyard. "Oh. Here's a picture of a seashell on the beach this past summer... see how I made it black and white... that's classy. And by the way, I'm starting to do toddler shots, senior pictures, and weddings." I understand people have to start somewhere, but really... If it is that easy, I think I could be a photographer. I have a camera that I purchased for $100 and I have the keen ability to hit the "Enhance" button at the bottom of my photo editing software. Click and done.
Now I will say there are some people I have seen that do a pretty good job. There's a guy in my class whose wife does this. Her pictures look good and she seems to spend a lot of time on editing, unlike others I have seen. I also have a relative whose starting to get into photography as a hobby. She has the nice digital SLR camera and is taking a photography class, so I can't get mad at this one either. Her pictures look really good, much better than something I could do.
I guess it makes me mad when I think of how these people come to their new found "profession." I can only imagine it goes something like this...
"Well, I'm a stay-at-home mom, but I need something to do to take up time, and possibly make some extra scratch. What can I do? I got it! I can buy a camera..."
*Goes to store to buy digital SLR camera and photo editing software."
$800 later, "Ok, I am capable of pushing a button and putting these images on a computer. Now, I will make a website advertising my services. I know other (and when they say other, they mean REAL) photographers will charge a lot of $$$ to have pictures made, but I will do it for substantially less." All of the pictures will be put on a computer, all pictures will be edited and adjusted the same way, and you will pay for a service that you could probably have done yourself.
I'll end with this, I believe a photographer should have vision, not just a fancy camera and free time.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Fat Carts (Personal Mobility Scooters)
This could possibly be one of the most controversial topics on my lengthy list of things that annoy me. Personal mobility scooters, or fat carts as I have come to call them, frustrate the heck out of me.
First off, let me say if a person NEEDS one of these scooters for some sort of disability, then I want them to have and use it.
As for people who are obese, huge, fat, lazy, etc... I want you to get off your fat ass and push a buggy. I have seen tons of these people (and all of you have seen them, too) who rent these things at Wal-Mart and Lowes out of convenience. They whiz down those aisles expecting you to get out of the way because there's obviously something so wrong with them that they cannot walk. Furthermore, I love watching them wheel all over the store then stand up and walk to get what they need, sit back down, and travel to their next destination.
In a kind of related story, one day a few weeks ago my fiance was at Sam's in line for a hotdog at the snack bar. The line was very long so she had plenty of time to think it over but also plenty of time to listen to the woman behind her. There was a women who appeared to be in her early 60s behind her talking very loudly about what we she and her hubby would be having for lunch. My fiance orders her food and is putting her money back in her purse, loud mouth leans over her and starts ordering. Lunch line foul. Wait until person moves to the left or right before moving up in line. So... She goes to look for a table and notices all are taken. While looking, an old man sitting alone at a table with one of those wretched scooters asks if she would like to sit down. She does and talks to him a little when she is interrupted by the same loud mouth from the line. She says to my fiance and the elderly man, "I had this table saved. I put my cart here. (pointing to the empty scooter)." Let's recap. She stood in line behind my fiance for approximately 15 minutes announcing to all of Sam's what she would have, committed the mentioned lunch line foul, and orders her food. Now... she is trying to say she "saved a table" at a snack bar at Sam's (which is like me trying to tell you the third parking space outside is reserved for me because I left my cart there." Nothing was said by old man or fiance. She huffs a couple of time, gets on her scooter, and rolls away.
Are you serious? Are you freaking serious? These are the people that are renting these things, and I get even more pissed off when I see these idiots drive right past the sign that says "carts for indoor use only" and wheel thos things right up to the door of their Cadillac and leave them. "I'm too tired to walk around for 30 minutes." Give me a break. I could literally punch them right in the face.
A friend of mine from school has a father that is a manager of a Wal-Mart and has bolted the arms of the scooters down to prevent any unwanted use by the obese. For this reason, he is my hero.
I'll end with this. Fat people- walk. It's good for you.
First off, let me say if a person NEEDS one of these scooters for some sort of disability, then I want them to have and use it.
As for people who are obese, huge, fat, lazy, etc... I want you to get off your fat ass and push a buggy. I have seen tons of these people (and all of you have seen them, too) who rent these things at Wal-Mart and Lowes out of convenience. They whiz down those aisles expecting you to get out of the way because there's obviously something so wrong with them that they cannot walk. Furthermore, I love watching them wheel all over the store then stand up and walk to get what they need, sit back down, and travel to their next destination.
I've had a hatred for these evil machines for some time. I coined the phrase "fat cart" while on a summer vacation with my fiance and her family to the happiest place on earth, Disney World. Upon arrival to the Magic Kingdom, I notice that there are an unusual amount of these scooters out and about. I saw two large men, each with his own scooter, at a halt in the middle of one of these Disney streets. After noticing the lack of any trauma to the extremities, ankle/leg braces, and/or crutches, I began to think, "Look at these guys. What's wrong with them? Lazy asses." But there was nothing that was going to prepare me what I saw next. I watched the wives of these two fine gents come walking back with their children, approximately 2-3 per idiot. Each of the kids climb onto these scooters and ride along with the obese fathers. I couldn't believe it. Mom's are walking. Dad's and all kids are on the scooters. I will remind you that this is only one of the many accounts of laziness I saw while at the park. (FYI, carts at DW are now equipped with canopies, because apparently the morbidly obese are as much allergic to sunlight as they are to walking. )
In a kind of related story, one day a few weeks ago my fiance was at Sam's in line for a hotdog at the snack bar. The line was very long so she had plenty of time to think it over but also plenty of time to listen to the woman behind her. There was a women who appeared to be in her early 60s behind her talking very loudly about what we she and her hubby would be having for lunch. My fiance orders her food and is putting her money back in her purse, loud mouth leans over her and starts ordering. Lunch line foul. Wait until person moves to the left or right before moving up in line. So... She goes to look for a table and notices all are taken. While looking, an old man sitting alone at a table with one of those wretched scooters asks if she would like to sit down. She does and talks to him a little when she is interrupted by the same loud mouth from the line. She says to my fiance and the elderly man, "I had this table saved. I put my cart here. (pointing to the empty scooter)." Let's recap. She stood in line behind my fiance for approximately 15 minutes announcing to all of Sam's what she would have, committed the mentioned lunch line foul, and orders her food. Now... she is trying to say she "saved a table" at a snack bar at Sam's (which is like me trying to tell you the third parking space outside is reserved for me because I left my cart there." Nothing was said by old man or fiance. She huffs a couple of time, gets on her scooter, and rolls away.
Are you serious? Are you freaking serious? These are the people that are renting these things, and I get even more pissed off when I see these idiots drive right past the sign that says "carts for indoor use only" and wheel thos things right up to the door of their Cadillac and leave them. "I'm too tired to walk around for 30 minutes." Give me a break. I could literally punch them right in the face.
A friend of mine from school has a father that is a manager of a Wal-Mart and has bolted the arms of the scooters down to prevent any unwanted use by the obese. For this reason, he is my hero.
I'll end with this. Fat people- walk. It's good for you.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
My Blog's Purpose
I've been thinking for several months about starting a blog about things in life about which I can complain. Now is the time. This will be a "no holds barred" rant about things in everyday life that I hate/am annoyed by so much that I have to say something about it*. Enjoy.
* As one could imagine, there could be some offensive things said on this blog, and for those offended... go put on your big boy/girl pants and suck it up.
* As one could imagine, there could be some offensive things said on this blog, and for those offended... go put on your big boy/girl pants and suck it up.
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